While you're here, I'd like to take this opportunity to address a persistent rumor. It seems that, in spite of our best efforts over the past five years, some people persist in thinking that ReinCONation is a "relaxacon".
Now, I can understand that some of you may think that ReinCONation is merely an extension of the old Minn-Stf relaxacons that were held every autumn since 1978. And I know that some of you come to ReinCONation to meet old friends and hang around the pool or the ConSuite. And that's fine: we chose a hotel with a pool, and we stock our ConSuite with the finest refreshments and friendliest hosts, so that you'll feel perfectly comfortable no matter how you spend your time. But ReinCONation "only" a relaxacon? Let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth!
In an effort to counteract this patently false impression, the committee has contracted the services of the Dr. Dodd Clegler Institute of Trans-Temporal Fannish Studies to find out who's been spreading the "relaxacon" rumor. They have identified three categories of ReinCONation attendees, and have recommended courses of action for each.
Those fans who already realize that ReinCONation is not a relaxacon will be honored with a special ceremony and awarded the coveted insignia of the Sacred Order of Roscoe. (Coincidentally enough, this award has an amazing similarity to the ReinCONation 6 name badge.)
Those fans who aren't sure whether ReinCONation is a relaxacon or not will be provided with the most interesting Guests of Honor and the most compelling, thought-provoking programming. We're sure this will convince them.
And finally, something truly special for those fans who are firmly of the mistaken belief that ReinCONation is a relaxacon. When they show up at the registration table, they will be CLAPPED IN IRONS and FORCED to do HARD LABOR for THIRTY HOURS STRAIGHT! They will be shown NO MERCY as we subject them to INTENSE BRAINWASHING! They will be forced to watch CONTINUOUS PANELS of BORING EXPERTS discuss "The Existential Ramifications of the Spaceship Motif in PERRY RHODAN" and "The Post-Modern Influences of Structuralism and Deconstructionism in the Works of TERRY BROOKS"! All this while serving as the PERSONAL SLAVE to members of the convention committee for the duration of the con! And what's more, qwizflb niblik wuccawucca grbsxzlnk @##$FS*%()$ J@ #(* %_+_) #% *_)_@#*.....
(Editor's note: The con chair seems to have suffered some sort of breakdown. The nice young men in the clean white coats assure me that he will have calmed down considerably by the weekend of ReinCONation 6, especially if the rest of the committee sit on him if he starts frothing again.)